So, You Want to Live and Work in Vieques..
|
Back
Vieques- June 2010 NEW
Living and Working in Vieques..
The columnist sends this letter from Vietnam.....and reflects on culture...ours and theirs
Within a few minutes of meeting our Vietnam guide, Tu, he told us of his marital
problems, that his wife and baby were in Houston and that they would likely divorce. He
wasn't being inappropriate, not here in Vietnam. The custom here is openness. People
more often than not ask your age, how much you earn; no personal information,large or
small, seems off bounds. It may be more than we want to know, but what is interesting is
the custom of "sharing" all this personal information, in sharp contrast to our demands
for boundaries.
Tu encouraged us to understand that "privacy issues" play a different role here in
Vietnam. what is curious is that all this sharing of information, especially financial
information, doesn't cause more problems in the sense of neighborly jealousy, for
example. But Tu assures us it doesn't. Tu made it clear to us that we could ask anything
and we did, indeed, pepper him with questions about communism and its role in Vietnam,
not much, and any other matters that interested this diverse group. Abortion? Legal
until 3 months, but not popular. Everyone has a least two jobs; family connections most
important factor, old people cared for by sons and daughter, nieces and nephews. Living
together before marriage not acceptable. Wedding itself is interesting. Hundreds of
people invited because of extended family - friends of siblings, for example, not left
out. People bring checks, eat dinner, and leave. No dancing, no festivities beyond
marriage ceremony and dinner.
We visited one ethnic tribal village where the small huts were close together but
occupied by neighbors not the same family. It would be impossible to argue or make love
without your neighbor hearing. I asked Tu about this and he said "It's Ok, no secrets
here" I'll say, no secrets possible here.
So on the one hand the Vietnamese are open, especially about their personal life, and on
the other their living conditions often inhibit any secrets.
Which brings me back to our lives, our secrets. Our civilized way of "hiding".
What money does for us, in the Western world, is give us the opportunity to be more
private, live further away from each other, or higher up in the penthouse. Certainly it
is gauche to inquire about personal matters. I hesitate even to ask close friends about
how their kids are for fear that they may be going through a bad patch and I'll be seen
as intruding. When I'm in trouble myself, I notice that people shy away, perhaps a
function of their sensitivity but perhaps just the spirit of confidentiality and non
sharing we, as a people, have.
One problem is that often when one has a bad day, and shares it with a friend, it is
sort of held against them; brought up two days later when that particular problem has
abated. The flexibility of human nature has to be taken into consideration - one day
good, another just sucks. Wise and true is the friend who understands that.
Oh, BTW, if you've read this far you deserve an update on Vieques. Good, good update.
People looking for houses, rentals on the increase, good restaurants. Vieques is that
anomaly that manages to stay the same while undergoing vast improvements.
Sheila
The opinions expressed in this newsletter are the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of Enchanted-Isle.Com.
GO to Archives [here]
Webmaster's Note * Sheila has many hats and is also a published author Her first book was "Simple Truths". She has asked that I put a short story she has written and I enjoyed it a lot, even though it has nothing to do with Vieques. You can download "Knowing" by right clicking on the link.
She is also the owner of Vieques Fine Properties.
Sheila can be reached for a brochure through her web page at http://www.viequesfineproperties.com